Still at 146. My body seems to like it here. I discovered somthing while I was completely off carbs. I am able to focus a lot better at work if I don't eat sugar. Focus is a major issue some days, so I have to try to stay off the sugar!

After all those years of fearing scales, having one around is kind of nice. I could never be sure if I was losing weight before; I would think I was but be unable to measure it. Now I know that if I can wear my tightest jeans, I weigh about 145! I know that my weight fluctuates by about 10 pounds. I know all sorts of things I didn't know before. It's nice, just as long as I only weigh myself on Fridays and don't get obsessive.

I want to lose another pound this week. 145 would be good. I recently discovered edamame as a wonderful fat-free snack.

Lost two more pounds. Wasn't even trying. Just got really wrapped around the axle about things. I haven't been eating extremely well, but I'm trying to remember all I learned on South Beach. Emphasize lean proteins and vegetables. Maybe that's helping.

I have gained half a pound. This will never do. I have been eating carbs. Not a lot, but undoing that undoes the South Beach Diet because you don't count calories or anything.
It as at times like this when I have to re-evaluate how importnat this is to me.

Here is why it is important that I lose excess fat:
1. I am getting older. My physical appearance is going to have more and more to do with my body fat.
2. I am getting older. I do not want to lose function. I do not want to sacrifice so much as one year that could have been a healthy active year.
3. I took a RealAge test and one of the things keeping my real age higher than it could be is my BMI.
4. I don't like photos of myself. I have to be careful here. I can not allow myself to hate myself ever, especially over something so trivial as my appearance. I don't like my nose, either, but dieting won't change that. Hating myself makes me drink and use dope.
5. I want to be a better climber.
6. Both grandfathers died of complications of diabetes. I'm a prime candidate, if I get too heavy.
7. I am overweight. Not by a lot, but I don't want to be overweight by any.

Damn, it is hard to lose weight! There's a couple things that I'm noticing that if I could change, it would be a lot easier.
1. I tend to blow my whole diet late at night. Going to bed about when the carb craving strikes would be good.
2. I eat when I'm having negative feelings. I found out my rent is going up $200 a month, starting tomorrow, just last night. There was a note on my door when I got home. I mindlessy munched on all kinds of things after that.
3. Sometimes, when I'm dieting, I feel concerned that when I do get to eat, it won't be enough.

I'm going to try just going to phase 2. Also, I am eating a lot healthier than I was before. Till about 10 p.m., I usually do very well.
Heres how I will address the above problems.
1. Go to bed earlier.
2. Take a hot shower first. Pray. Call my sponsor. Think of other self-comforting things I could do, like watch a cheerful movie or go to bed or put on makeup and perfume or buy myself something nice.
3. Just wait till I'm hungry, then eat something sensible, then wait and see. Drink hot tea and diet pop. Review my reasons for doing this. Call a friend. Also do self-cheering things. Shop without buying anything.

I sure enough weighed four pounds less at the doctor's office today. So that was rewarding. I had lentil soup with a bit of grated cheddar for lunch this chilly, grey day. Most satisfying. Got up a half hour earlier today and ate two eggs with veggies for breakfast and was still starving at 11. Bummer. Doctor says I'm good to rock climb if I tape my fingers up well. Yay. Back inot my exercise routine. Plus, I just got a yoga video. I just now need a cardio plan. I don't have any cardio going on unitl ski season, and I can't afford to do it regularly enough to actually call it a plan.

Nobody's fault but mine! I still weigh exactly the same, three days later. That's probably because I went on vacation and went to an outrageous restaurant. I didn't hog out on desserts, but I ate well. Even some bread and cous cous with raisins and pepper, which came with my boyfriend's lamb, and some little yukon gold potatoes, Oh My God. I'm not sorry. I'll never forget that meal. It was one of my top 10, ever, up there with filet mignon at Daniel's Broiler, scallops with a puree of root vegetable in a carrot reduction sauce I had at Mistral, both in Seattle.
Went on a nice long hike today, with a 1,600 foot elevation gain, so made up for it, I hope. Back on track now, eating surf and turf for dinner with baby carrots.
Boy, eating breakfast the other day made a difference. I wasn't hungry again until one p.m., and that's after eating only half a lean cuisine breakfast thing! I'll try that again tomarrow. Sometimes I think the secret to life is getting up a half hour earlier. I feel better, I have more time to eat, relax, prepare for my day. But it's hard to get up.